Penis Fencing Flatworms of Presidential Politics


Posted by kdenn.

Every election year, I get to a point when I’ve decided who I’m going to vote for and want to put my head in an oven when the election news coverage increases. I know these stories are not really meant for me but it gets exhausting and nerve racking.

I reached this point after Mitt Romney became ‘The Chosen One’. The amusement of the Republican primaries ended for me. It’s only downhill after Herman Cane quoted lines from the Pokѐmon movie in his concession speech and Rick Perry’s inability to remember three things at a time.

I have to admit, watching Mitt Romney’s oh so delicate ways at gracefully putting his foot in his mouth has been somewhat amusing. I thought I was good at this but apparently, he’s an artist. However, it’s not the same.  The more news that came out about Romney reminded me of something. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Then, the Obama campaign insisted that Romney release his tax returns and criticized his role at Bain Capital. Romney’s response was to demand an apology.

Then it hit me…Flatworms.

Let me explain. I have a degree in marine biology and quite a bit of my studies involved invertebrate zoology. What made me think of flatworms was how they loves them some penis fencing.

The back and forth rhetoric between the Obama and Romney brought back memories of sitting in a crowded lecture hall watching two flatworms duke it out with their double penises.  The victor is the one who delivers their sperm, impregnating the other.

Who wins the Obama/Romney battle? I would have to give it to Obama. Am I biased? Possibly. Do I care? Not really. What really made me come to this conclusion was Romney’s demand for an apology over the Bain attacks. Was it fair to criticize and question his role? I’d say it is.  It’s an election and he needs to be able to deal with criticism. It would be a different story if the Obama camp claimed Romney approved the use of high class call girls to motivate Bain capital executives or liked to rock a whale tail on casual Fridays (Relax-I made this up…but if does end up as true in the future I deserve a cookie).

What really confirmed the idea that this presidential campaign reminded me of flatworms was when Romney announced Ryan as his vice president candidate.

This…

Reminded me of this….

In my demented little brain, it looks like Mitt Romney cut off a leg, the leg regenerated and grew into Paul Ryan. Just like a flatworm (a Planarian to be a little more accurate).

Until next time, when we examine the lekking-like behavior observed in Congress.

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